Low

I wasn't going to blog today,
wasn't feeling it.
Feeling like I don't matter
came back in full force.
Along with the thought that
probably no one reads this shit anyway.
Feeling low is nothing new,
I've struggled with this a long time.
I made some changes in my life that I know
were for the better, but now I feel unsure
of what to do now.
Issues keep cropping up every time
I think ive got things balanced and tackled.
I just feel emotionally depleted.
And everyone I love and care about
live too far from here, and I don't
need to add my burdens to their own.
So here I sit staring at a screen,
my writing languishing because
I feel numb and disconnected
from even my imagination.
Things I use to escape are
not doing it either.
This unhappy feeling always passes
but I had to remind myself of that.
And of how selfish it would be for
me to leave kiddo without a parent.
Some days I get scared of getting
to the point where even that reminder
wont work.
Hopefully this funk will pass quickly.

More thoughts to come...